美国网友评论:中国的祖父母陷阱,中国祖父母接管了孩子的抚养任务 [美国媒体]

原文地址:https://extranewsfeed.comHow China’s children are being cared by their grandparents.中国的孩子是如何被祖父母照顾的。One of the major differences betwee

原文地址:https://extranewsfeed.com


How China’s children are being cared by their grandparents.


中国的孩子是如何被祖父母照顾的。


One of the major differences between individualistic and collectivistic cultures is the importance of the nuclear family versus the extended family. Individualistic cultures stress self-reliance the rights of individuals to make their own decisions and the right to a private life. In contrast collectivistic cultures emphasize an extended family structure in which loyalty is demanded and interdependence is cultivated as well as enforced.


个人主义和集体主义文化的主要区别之一是核心家庭和大家庭的差异。个人主义文化强调自力更生,个人有权决定自己的决定和个人生活的权利。相反,集体主义文化强调了一种延伸的家庭结构,在这种结构中,忠诚是必须的,同时形成并且实践着相互依赖的关系。


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China being one of the most collectivistic societies in the world has a strong extended family tradition where grandparents enjoy a powerful and influential position within the clan. As China’s economy improves and women enter the workforce at a greater rate grandparents have taken on an additional role of custodians and caregivers to their grandchildren. Sometimes these roles have extended beyond normal childminding activities during working hours to fulltime adoption or childrearing.


中国是世界上最具集体主义的社会之一,有着深厚的家族传统,祖父母在家族中享有强大而有影响力的地位。随着中国经济的改善,年轻女性进入劳动力市场的比例更高,祖父母为照顾他们的孙辈也承担起了额外的责任。有时这些角色已经超出正常的儿童保育活动,简直就是全职保育儿童。


But this trend goes beyond the mere fact that there are more two-career couples than ever before. Other factors that play a role in this Chinese grandparent and grandchild phenomenon is the ever increasing migration to large urban hubs from rural and small town communities. For the most part when parents leave their homes in search of brighter horizons in major metropolitan cities such as Beijing Shanghai Tianjin Guangzhou Shenzhen and Dongguan their children stay behind under the care of their grandparents. These are the children that are now commonly referred to as the “left-behind children”.


这一趋势不仅仅说明了现在的双职工夫妇比以往更多。在中国的祖父母抚养孙辈现象中起作用的另一个因素是越来越多的人从农村和小城镇社区迁移到大城市。父母离开自己的家去寻找更广阔的空间比如北京上海天津和东莞等大城市,他们的孩子会在祖父母的照顾下留守在家。这些孩子现在通常被称为“留守儿童”。


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Unfortunately these left-behind children are living in poverty receiving poor education and oftentimes forced to go to work at an early age. Surveys conducted by the government show that nearly 50 percent of children left behind suffer from injuries which include slashing burns attacked by animals and by falling. This being far higher than children living with their parents. These children represent 61 percent of new admitted patients in child hospitals and 55.2% of child sexual abuse in China. (Beijing Normal University Scientific Communication and Education Research Center. pp1–3)


不幸的是,这些留守儿童生活在贫困中,接受了糟糕的教育,而且往往在很小的时候就被迫去工作。政府进行的调查显示,近50%的留守儿童遭受了伤害,包括砍伤、烧伤、被动物攻击和摔倒。这比和父母住在一起的孩子要高得多。这些儿童占据了中国儿童医院新收病人的61%,也占据了中国儿童性虐待的55.2%。(北京师范大学科学传播与教育研究中心。pp1-3)


Other survey’s point to the fact that 40 percent of young parents are dissatisfied with grandparent childrearing methods. However they continue to leave their children in the grandparents care. (CNN TravelR02;—R02;Shirley Chen -2011)


另一项调查表明,40%的年轻父母对祖父母的育儿方式不满意。然而,他们仍然把孩子留在祖父母的看护下。(CNN旅行——雪莉陈,2011)


Complicating matters worse is the fact that Chinese society is organized in a top-down authority structure. Government as well as corporate decisions originate at the top of the organization and family structures are no different. It is no secret that grandparents control their children even after they have grown and have children of their own. In Western cultures where nuclear families have a great deal more autonomy the older members of the clan would have given up power the moment their children move out of their homes. Especially once they marry and have children of their own. A strong argument can be made that this approach would produce better educational mental health and maturity outcomes for the children.


更糟糕的是,中国社会是以自上而下的权威结构组织的。政府和公司的决策都起源于组织的顶端,家庭也不例外。即使在孩子长大成人后,他们也能控制自己的孩子,这已经不是什么秘密了。在西方文化中,核心家庭拥有更大的自主权,当他们的孩子搬出他们的家时,家庭年长成员就会放弃权力,尤其是当孩子结婚生子后。一个强有力的观点是:这种方法将为孩子们带来更好的教育、心理健康和成熟(的思维方式)。




Unfortunately changing this social phenomenon would not be easy. Cultures don’t change overnight. Wages would have to rise substantially in order for parents to be able to afford nannies or au pairs. White and blue collar workers alike would have to acquire more rights and perhaps even more power in the work place forcing companies to stop demanding extremely long hours from their employees. Ultimately Chinese culture would have to move away from an extended family structure into a one where the nuclear family has more autonomy. This perhaps would be the greater challenge.


不幸的是,要改变这种社会现象并不容易,文化也不可能在一夜之间被改变。父母们的工资应该得到大幅度提高,这样他们就能请得起保姆。如果像白领和蓝领这样的工薪阶层想让公司停止从职工那里榨取过长的工作时间,他们就必须在工作场所获取更多权利甚至更强大的力量。归根结底,中国文化必须从一个庞大的家庭结构转变成核心家庭拥有更多自主权的家庭结构,这一点对他们来说可能才是更大的挑战。



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美国网民评论:

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jules000120

This is how all the "villager" attitudes are being passed on to the next generation like spitting urinating/defecating in public traditional medicine superstitions etc. It's a fascinating mix of very traditional parentage vs. kids born with smart phones in their hands


所以这就是诸如吐痰,随地大小便和传统医学迷信等“乡野”态度被传递给下一代的方式,这种传统的父母教育与一出生就拥有智能手机的孩子之间的碰撞还真是令人着迷。



lammatthew725

Cell phones in hand and pissing/shitting on the street are not mutually exclusive.

Oh... I have seen that happen more than enough in the tier 0.5+888 i live in.


拥有智能手机和随地大小便可不互相排斥。噢...我在我生活的第0.5+888区很常见。



ChinaTrumper

I just meant that there's a new generation growing up in a quickly modernizing china but bc they're raised by grandparents the old nongmin habits aren't dying off anytime soon


我想说现代化中国的新一代在快速成长,但从抚养他们长大的祖父母身上带来的农业气息还没有完全消失。



be_nice_2_people

I hate when people dedicate in public especially when it's some shitty KTV song.


我特讨厌一些人在公共场合哗众取宠,特别是唱神曲。



theepicmarshbeast

Chinese grandparents are the bane of my existence. When I was teaching they would show up unannounced just to stare at their grandchild hide in the bushes to make sure their child was safe (from playing and falling down) or barge into my classroom to fuck with the thermostat. "It's too cold-my child is sick". Your child is sick because he/she is a kid who you don't make wash his/her hands after using the bathroom or before feeding. Then you try to explain to them how viruses and bacteria work and all the intricacies of the human body and microbiology and they just look confused and say 'It's too cold drink more hot water' (in summertime). Now as a parent they like to offer unsolicited advice about stupid shit. "Your baby is crying"-Yeah I know. "She is playing with the stroller"-SO? She's strapped in and we are out for a walk she can entertain herself by pulling on the hood. It won't break. "Her sock is halfway off"-Ma'am we are in the middle of a busy road I am not going to stop in front of all of these cars and ebikes who don't give a fuck just to adjust a sock that you say is half off but I think is fine. "Oh I know because I am a grandmother". I doubt you raised your own kid by yourself back in the day. Also your grandchild who you are such an expert on can't feed him/herself or even poop on his/her own. AND for the record it's not a Western way of child-rearing it's the responsible way of child-rearing.


中国的祖父母就是我生活中的灾难。他们会在我上课的时候突然出现,盯着自己的孙子往草丛里藏的时候别受伤(玩和摔倒的时候)。要么就闯进教室使劲弄那个恒温器。“太冷了,我的小祖宗要病了。”你的小孩会病那是因为你在饭前便后不给他/她洗手。这时候你如果试着给他们解释病毒和细菌是怎么致病的啦、人体怎么复杂啦、微生物啦,他们就疑惑地看着你然后说:“那是因为太冷了要多喝热水(大夏天)。”作为父母他们经常瞎出主意。“你的宝宝哭了”——我知道~。“她又在玩婴儿车了”——那又咋了?我们出去的时候已经给她系好安全带了,她拉一拉兜帽就可以自己玩了不行么?这还不算完,“她的袜子掉下去一半了”——大姐,我们在过一条车水马龙的马路好么,那么多汽车电瓶车我就停在路中间给娃穿袜子么。“你就听我的,我是过来人。”我严重怀疑你的孩子是你亲自养大的么。你这么专业,你的孙子咋还不能自己吃饭,有些大小便都不能自理。讲道理这就不光西式的育儿法,这就是负责任的育儿法。



be_nice_2_people

Don't feed the baby ___________ but put little precious on a scooter with no helmet and drive at 50 km against traffic and through red lights to the hotpot restaurant where they can run freely unattended with waiters carrying scalding pots of oily soup.


一天到晚说婴儿这不能喂那不能吃,但是却让小孩子骑上小车不戴头盔在逆行的马路上飙出时速50km闯红灯冲进热闹的餐馆,让他们在端着热油的服务员之间瞎跑来跑去。



dustyuncle

or let your kid push their stroller into the middle of a busy street just cuz.


他们还敢让小孩子把婴儿车推到车水马龙的马路中间玩。



papaloopus

This is one of the biggest issues in China right now parents pushing their children to get married and have a kid so they can raise it. Then the parents go off to work and let the grandparents raise the child.

The world has changed very fast and I don't think most of these grandparents are in a position to raise a child to succeed in the 21st century considering what life was most likely like for these grandparents as they grew up. It's fascinating but also pretty scary.

I would not let a set of local grandparents raise a child I had that's for sure.


这在中国是个大问题。现在老一辈逼年轻一代结婚生子他们来带,小两口都上班不管的。

但是世界现在变得太快了,我觉得这些爷爷奶奶落伍了带不了21世界的新一代了啊,现在跟爷爷奶奶年轻的时候差太多了。这变化虽然很好但是想想也挺恐怖的。

我反正不会让乡下爷爷奶奶带孩子的。


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Hautamaki

My wife's family tried this on her. As soon as we were married they asked when grandbaby was coming of course and when my wife said 'both of us work 60 hour weeks no way we can raise a child right now' they said 'no problem we will raise it!' Then my wife laughed at them and said no thanks.


我妻子的娘家就这么试过. 我们刚结婚他们就问过我们什么时候生孩子当时我妻子就说我们俩个都要一星期工作60个小时.眼下根本没办法抚养孩子然后他们就说这不是个问题我们可以替你们带孩子!然后我妻子就笑了说不用了.



iwazaruu

So what'd you guys end up doing?


然后你俩怎么样了?



Hautamaki

We moved to Canada last year and had our child here with a nice big Pacific between us and her famil


去年我们搬到了加拿大.在这里生了孩子并且与她父母隔着一个太平洋



dustyuncle

waiting like normal people until one of them had time or decided to settle....


等两人可以像正常人一样生活.至少一人能有时间照顾孩子



tnp636

So despite all the criticism there's not a lot of good options here. Economic reality means that it is the way it is


所以尽管受到这么多批评但是并没有什么可行的办法能够解决这一问题 经济基础决定了现实就是这样.



supercharged0708

Why don't parents just sent their kids to daycare instead of using grandparents? The kids can learn social skills and other skills in a set program instead of just being babysat by grandpa and grandma. If the mom isn't working then she should be taking care of her kids at home so grandparents aren't needed there. If mom is working then they can afford daycare so grandparents aren't needed.


为什么孩子的父母不把孩子送到日托而是交给爷爷奶奶照顾呢?孩子可以在那里学会社交和其他技能而不是仅仅被祖父母看着而已.如果妈妈不工作就可以在家照顾孩子.那样就用不着祖父母了,如果妈妈工作的话.那就可以负担的起日托的支出。同样不需要用到祖父母



nikatnight

Daycare is expensive yet grandparents are free. I'd personally prefer my parents to strangers.

Retired grandparents are bored so babies helps them enjoy themselves.

Many grandparents didn't get a chance to raise their own kids since their parents did. In the future those working parents will be grandparents raising their own grand babies. 


日托是昂贵的,但祖父母带是免费的。我个人倒更愿意让父母来照顾而不是陌生人。

退休的祖父母过得单调乏味,所以宝宝给他们带来天伦之乐。

因为工作,许多祖父母没有机会带大自己的孩子。在未来,工作的父母将把自己的孩子交给祖父母带。


It is extremely difficult to live on a single income in china so only a fraction of people could afford to do this.

The babies get a ton of social interaction since grandparents all meet up at the local parks.


在中国仅靠一个人的收入很难养家,所以只有小部分人能供得起。

而让祖父母带孩子可以让孩子获得很多社交机会,因为所有老年人都会在当地公园里聚会唠嗑。



dustyuncle

even for rich people grandparents will raise the kids up to 2. For some reason they believe this is the cutoff age for when a child can go to pre-school.

Don't ask me why but that's how it is when my daughter started going to school at 18 mo's and she was the youngest by far. Something to do with the healthy.


至便是富贵家庭,祖父母会把孩子带大到2岁,出于某种原因,他们认为这是上幼儿园的截止年龄。

不要问我为什么,但就是这么回事,我女儿开始去幼儿园时才18个月,她是幼儿园里年龄最小的。

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