首页 > 美国 > 中国人待人冷谈吗?为什么不那么友好? [美国网评]

中国人待人冷谈吗?为什么不那么友好? [美国网评]

五毛网 美国 2017年09月11日 来源:龙腾网
Are Chinese people distant naturally? Why are they not friendly?


Murali Krishna U, Engineer TechSavvy Entrepreneur Startupmentor Multilingual
Who told they are not friendly ? I don't agree with this any way. The distance you observe is just because they are afraid of communicating with you due to langauge problem and not because they don't want to become friends.
Just take two cases



1.if you go to a restaurant and you don't know Chinese , they attended will be hesitant to come to you and try to send another guy to you to get the order. This is because they are afraid that they can't communicate properly with you


2.Take the second case, if you do a restaurant and you say “你好” and greet them, they won't hesitate to come to you and if you can communicate more, they would love to help you getting a better food and the kind of food you like.


Both are my experiences before and after learning Chinese


Madi Yan, when it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
They are distant? Unfriendly?
This is literally what you see every night, in any open space (including a basketball court with annoyed high schoolers trying to ignore the old ladies), in every city, town, etc.

这就是你会在任意城市任意夜晚的开阔地(包括篮球场上也充满了恼怒的高中生,试图无视那些老太太)看到的。Throught the night, people join in dancing the guangchang wu, or something like “square dancing”. Loud music, a bunch of people, all dancing together.
Then there are people selling toys and stuff on the streets, including food, toys, and jewelry.


In the place I was staying during my trip a couple months ago, a group of kids were learning how to jump rope. And not just any jump rope, but super sophisticated, fancy, America’s Got Talent-worthy jumping, near the ladies (and men) dancing.


Some couples were ballroom dancing with a few instructors.
Some people were kicking a ball back a forth.
Images from the Great God Google

还有一大帮人站在一旁观看舞蹈。And there was a ton of people standing around and watching.
Think again before you make generalizations about the Chinese.


Carl Johnson, I am an American who has lived and worked in Mainland China since 2011.
I have found Chinese people to be incredibly friendly and caring people. Not so much in the crowds during times when people are going to or from work. No one is looking for interactions when they are trying to get to or from work during the commute times. But walk through a village of down a side street and you will meet all kinds of friendly people. I have literally been invited to join families having dinner right off the street. Perfect strangers invite you into their homes!


If you are not finding this perhaps there is something about you that is preventing people from wanting to meet you. Do you look approachable, friendly and open. Or are you stressed out and look tense , annoyed or angry. I am not being critical of you but just opening you to the possibility that you may, unknowingly and unintentionally, be giving off vibes that you are not open to meeting people or being approached.
All the best!


Ryan Q.Y. See, BSc Psychology, University of Auckland
There is a perception, based on relatively older media, which has seeped into the arts and culture of modern society.

有一种基于旧式媒体的对中国人刻板印象渗入了现代社会的艺术和文化领域。On the scale of warmth and competence, the Chinese are perceived as cold and competent. This is if you’re in a Western society, mind you; Eastern societies have different perceptions based on where they are.
It goes two ways: Chinese people are seen as cold because their culture - our culture (somewhat) - is not to express warmth in public, because that loses “face”, or image. It’s different in private, or if you’re in a position where image isn’t particularly important (out drinking with the boys, surrounded by a gaggle of rowdy kids that aren’t yours, etc - and the last one is arguable, or in a position where looking stupid isn’t a bad thing, e.g. being a student among teachers, or a junior among seniors).


So because of the cultural lack of indicators that Western people see as warm, Chinese people look cold, or distant. This is particularly emphasized when the person in question may not speak English very well, and not actually understand if you ask a question. Flip that around - how would you act in a, say, French or German context? Would you prefer to look blank and stupid, or would you prefer to look purposeful and busy?


Both are perfectly human reactions, and both happen.
Warmth indicators are quite different, too. You’ll get a lot more fretting and worry and constant insults at your ability to do anything right, here, let aunty take care of you, but that’s warmth too, in a way.


But a lot of things are caught up in “face”, or image. It’s only behind closed doors where the real warmth indicators come out.
Basically, it’s a cultural thing. Despite being Chinese by ethnicity, I have Western warmth indicators, because I’m raised Western.
Oh yeah, one more thing.


See, the thing about “predators”? It’s a reaction to cold/competent, because it was in the media and the government’s best interest to portray Chinese people as being so. “The Chinese are stealing our jobs!”
It’s difficult to deny the indicators of competence, and it was to the government’s benefit that the Chinese work for them, but not to the government’s benefit to have people look up to the Chinese (“warm/competent”) or to work closely with the Chinese.


Warm/Competent people, when you do a survey, tend to be white, male, Christian, etc. People who are idolized, in a way.


It is in the government’s best interest to separate the Chinese from their domestic population, which is why you get a lot of portrayals of either cold/competent Chinese, or conversely warm/incompetent Chinese (yellow-face in American media, or like the Mandarin in the Iron Man movies). Alternately, by this point, it’s just tradition and a lack of exposure to Chinese people…


Keep in mind, too, that you might be expecting warm/incompetent Chinese peopleor cold/competent Chinese people, and so of course people are going to react to that expectation.


Also, if ya open with “Hey, Ching Chong!” …you’re not going to get a good reception, in the same way as if I opened with “Hey, Mr White Pig!”