首页 > 美国 > 中国人待人冷谈吗?为什么不那么友好? [美国网评]

中国人待人冷谈吗?为什么不那么友好? [美国网评]

五毛网 美国 2017年09月11日 来源:龙腾网
quora网友:我发现中国人难以置信地友好并乐于助人。也许在人们上班或下班时,在人群中并没有表现出来。上下班的通勤时间时没有人乐意互相打招呼。但走在村庄路边时你就会遇到各种有好的人。在路边走过时,我就曾被热烈邀请参加一户人的晚宴。完全陌生的人邀请你进他们家吃饭!
Are Chinese people distant naturally? Why are they not friendly?

中国人待人冷谈吗?为什么不那么友好?

Murali Krishna U, Engineer TechSavvy Entrepreneur Startupmentor Multilingual
Who told they are not friendly ? I don't agree with this any way. The distance you observe is just because they are afraid of communicating with you due to langauge problem and not because they don't want to become friends.
Just take two cases

谁告诉你他们不友好?我完全不同意这一看法。你观察到隔阂只是因为他们害怕语言不通造成交流障碍而不是他们不想和你做朋友。举两个例子。

 

【以下是评论部份】
1.if you go to a restaurant and you don't know Chinese , they attended will be hesitant to come to you and try to send another guy to you to get the order. This is because they are afraid that they can't communicate properly with you

1.如果你去餐厅就餐而不懂中文,服务员会犹豫着走近并尝试呼叫另一个懂英语的同伴招待你。他们只是担心不能与你恰当沟通。

2.Take the second case, if you do a restaurant and you say “你好” and greet them, they won't hesitate to come to you and if you can communicate more, they would love to help you getting a better food and the kind of food you like.

2.第二个例子。如果你走进餐厅并用中文“你好”向他们打招呼,他们会毫不犹豫地回应你。如果你还能说更多中文,他们就会迫不及待地帮你点喜欢的食物。

Both are my experiences before and after learning Chinese

这就是我学习中文前后的不同经历。

Madi Yan, when it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
They are distant? Unfriendly?
This is literally what you see every night, in any open space (including a basketball court with annoyed high schoolers trying to ignore the old ladies), in every city, town, etc.

他们很冷漠?不友好?
这就是你会在任意城市任意夜晚的开阔地(包括篮球场上也充满了恼怒的高中生,试图无视那些老太太)看到的。Throught the night, people join in dancing the guangchang wu, or something like “square dancing”. Loud music, a bunch of people, all dancing together.
Then there are people selling toys and stuff on the streets, including food, toys, and jewelry.

整个夜晚人们都在跳广场舞。嘈杂的音乐中一大堆人一起跳舞。
还有人在街道上贩卖小玩具和其他东西,包括食物,玩具和首饰。

In the place I was staying during my trip a couple months ago, a group of kids were learning how to jump rope. And not just any jump rope, but super sophisticated, fancy, America’s Got Talent-worthy jumping, near the ladies (and men) dancing.

几个月前我旅行中待过的一个地方,一帮小孩子正在学习跳绳。不只是简单的跳绳,还包括超复杂的花式,美式达人秀跳法,就在跳广场舞的男女边。

Some couples were ballroom dancing with a few instructors.
Some people were kicking a ball back a forth.
:D
Images from the Great God Google

有些夫妇在几个领舞的指导下跳交际舞。
还有人在后面踢球。
还有一大帮人站在一旁观看舞蹈。And there was a ton of people standing around and watching.
Think again before you make generalizations about the Chinese.

在对中国人进行概括之前,最好再好好考虑一下不要轻易下结论。
图片来自大谷歌。

Carl Johnson, I am an American who has lived and worked in Mainland China since 2011.
I have found Chinese people to be incredibly friendly and caring people. Not so much in the crowds during times when people are going to or from work. No one is looking for interactions when they are trying to get to or from work during the commute times. But walk through a village of down a side street and you will meet all kinds of friendly people. I have literally been invited to join families having dinner right off the street. Perfect strangers invite you into their homes!

我发现中国人难以置信地友好并乐于助人。也许在人们上班或下班时,在人群中并没有表现出来。上下班的通勤时间时没有人乐意互相打招呼。但走在村庄路边时你就会遇到各种有好的人。在路边走过时,我就曾被热烈邀请参加一户人的晚宴。完全陌生的人邀请你进他们家吃饭!

If you are not finding this perhaps there is something about you that is preventing people from wanting to meet you. Do you look approachable, friendly and open. Or are you stressed out and look tense , annoyed or angry. I am not being critical of you but just opening you to the possibility that you may, unknowingly and unintentionally, be giving off vibes that you are not open to meeting people or being approached.
All the best!
Carl

如果你没有遇到这种事,也许你身上有某种因素使得其他人不想接近你。你看起来平易近人,友好,开放吗?或者你很紧张,焦躁或恼怒?我无意冒犯,但你也许就是不知不觉中发出了信号显得你不那么开放或平易近人。
祝你一路顺风。
卡尔。

Ryan Q.Y. See, BSc Psychology, University of Auckland
There is a perception, based on relatively older media, which has seeped into the arts and culture of modern society.

有一种基于旧式媒体的对中国人刻板印象渗入了现代社会的艺术和文化领域。On the scale of warmth and competence, the Chinese are perceived as cold and competent. This is if you’re in a Western society, mind you; Eastern societies have different perceptions based on where they are.
It goes two ways: Chinese people are seen as cold because their culture - our culture (somewhat) - is not to express warmth in public, because that loses “face”, or image. It’s different in private, or if you’re in a position where image isn’t particularly important (out drinking with the boys, surrounded by a gaggle of rowdy kids that aren’t yours, etc - and the last one is arguable, or in a position where looking stupid isn’t a bad thing, e.g. being a student among teachers, or a junior among seniors).

以热情和能力衡量不同群体,中国人被认为是冷漠能干的。这就是西方社会试图告诉你的。基于不同场合,东方社会对人有完全不同的态度。其中有两方面:因为他们的文化,中国人被认为很冷漠——我们的文化不倾向于在公共场合表达热情,认为这样很丢脸。在私人场合就不同了,如果你在一个面子不那么重要的场合丢脸也无所谓(例如出去和小伙伴喝酒,周围都是帮闹哄哄的陌生人时;或在一个看起来有点蠢不是件坏事的场合例如老师群中的一个学生或者老人群中的一个年轻人。)

So because of the cultural lack of indicators that Western people see as warm, Chinese people look cold, or distant. This is particularly emphasized when the person in question may not speak English very well, and not actually understand if you ask a question. Flip that around - how would you act in a, say, French or German context? Would you prefer to look blank and stupid, or would you prefer to look purposeful and busy?

因为中国文化缺乏西方人能看成热情的因素,所以中国人看似和冷漠或高冷。尤其被提问者英语说得不好也无法理解你的问题时就会显得冷漠。回过头来,如果你以一种法国或德国模式行动时会显得怎样?你乐意显得又傻又笨还是更喜欢显得坚强又忙碌?

Both are perfectly human reactions, and both happen.
Warmth indicators are quite different, too. You’ll get a lot more fretting and worry and constant insults at your ability to do anything right, here, let aunty take care of you, but that’s warmth too, in a way.

就算是完美的人也会出这些问题。
显得热情会受到大不相同的待遇。在这里你会收获更多的烦恼和担忧,还有不断质疑你办事能力的抱怨。但某种程度上这是种热情的关照。

But a lot of things are caught up in “face”, or image. It’s only behind closed doors where the real warmth indicators come out.
Basically, it’s a cultural thing. Despite being Chinese by ethnicity, I have Western warmth indicators, because I’m raised Western.
Oh yeah, one more thing.

还有很多事情与面子有关。关了门之后,热情的痕迹才会显示出来。
最重要的是存在一种文化差异。尽管种族上我是中国人,但我在西方社会长大,因此我也理解西式热情。

See, the thing about “predators”? It’s a reaction to cold/competent, because it was in the media and the government’s best interest to portray Chinese people as being so. “The Chinese are stealing our jobs!”
It’s difficult to deny the indicators of competence, and it was to the government’s benefit that the Chinese work for them, but not to the government’s benefit to have people look up to the Chinese (“warm/competent”) or to work closely with the Chinese.

至于说中国人是“铁血战士”......这是种对中国人卓越能力和过人冷静的嫉妒,媒体和政府就想这么让人们对中国人留下这样的印象。“中国人在偷走我们的工作!”很难否认中国人的能力,所以外国政府利用中国人为其工作却不希望本国人高看中国人或与中国人紧密合作。

Warm/Competent people, when you do a survey, tend to be white, male, Christian, etc. People who are idolized, in a way.

做个调查就会发现,西方大众往往先入为主地认为白人男性基督徒性格热情且能力出众。

It is in the government’s best interest to separate the Chinese from their domestic population, which is why you get a lot of portrayals of either cold/competent Chinese, or conversely warm/incompetent Chinese (yellow-face in American media, or like the Mandarin in the Iron Man movies). Alternately, by this point, it’s just tradition and a lack of exposure to Chinese people…

将中国人和本国民众隔离才是政府的最大利益所在,这就是为什么你会得到中国人冷酷但能力出众或相反地热情但无能的印象(就像钢铁侠电影中的刻板美国黄种人形象一样)。另外造成这种印象的原因除了有传统的刻板印象外,也因为对中国人缺乏了解。

Keep in mind, too, that you might be expecting warm/incompetent Chinese peopleor cold/competent Chinese people, and so of course people are going to react to that expectation.

也要小心,你可能也会形成刻板的冷酷但能力出众或相反地热情但无能的中国人印象。当然确实有很多人乐意这么认为。

Also, if ya open with “Hey, Ching Chong!” …you’re not going to get a good reception, in the same way as if I opened with “Hey, Mr White Pig!”

此外如果你开口就说“嗨,中国佬!”,你可能就得不到什么良好接待了。就跟你对白人说“嗨,白皮猪!”一样。

 

爷点一下来个评论

发表评论